Smelly and Mo Almost Chew Their Last Cord

Smelly and Mo are almost 6 years old, which means I've had 6 years to learn my lesson. But do we ever really learn our lesson until we lose something we truly love? Well last night I almost did lose something I truly love, my Dyson DC28 Vacuum.

You'd think after the long list of things the cats have destroyed by means of chewing, I would not leave the vacuum out in the open with the cord exposed (even though it was nicely wound up). But, I'm not gonna lie, I thought maybe the cats grew out of their chewing on cords stage. Like they grew out of their habit of knocking glasses of water over.

Turns out they didn't, and upon putting my new vacuum away last night after owning it for less than a week, I see this!

Luckily, for Smelly and Mo, the vacuum still works, so they have not chewed their last cord. Luckily for me, I learned that the cord can be replaced for about $20. But, will I ever learn my lesson?

My Cat Plays Fetch Better Than Your Dog

Even though Misty is no longer with us (no she didn't go to kitty heaven, we just found her a new home), she will forever reign as the ultimate fetch player.

She's like a dog, even better than some dogs.




It turns out having three cats was just too much. What we learned, Siamese are very protective and bonded with their owners. Misty is in a new home where we can hear how she's doing on a daily basis, visit her and know she'll be much happier.

Anti Icky Poo Poo Saves the Day

I've officially found the best pet cleaning product known to man, and it has the best name... Anti Icky Poo Poo. I kid you not.

You may be wondering why I needed to go on a search for the best pet cleaning product to begin with, or you may not care, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Upon introducing Misty to Penny and Lola, things seemed... okay. Granted there were scars and lots of fighting we figured they would work it out.

I slowly started to smell cat urine around the house. Anyone who has ever owned a cat knows it's the most miserable smell on the planet. Long story short, miss Lola had been spraying everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. Places that you wouldn't even think a cat could spray... walls, carpet, window sills, sinks, and by far the worst the air vents!

I have to give Lola minor credit for the air vents because I think she knew that if she pissed in one, it would be smelt throughout... clever little bitch I like to call my Lola.

So upon realizing my cat was slowly ruining my parents new condo I went on a hunt for anything to clean up this smell. Let me tell you what didn't work so you don't waste your time:

- vinegar (it just smelt like urine and vinegar)
- mouthwash (smelt like minty urine)
- vinegar mixed with hydrogen peroxide (just didn't work)
- every product featured at PetSmart (sorry PetSmart, even though I think some PetSmarts have Anti Icky Poo Poo)
- Borax
- Baking soda
- Ultra Intense carpet cleaner
- steam cleaner

So naturally, out of desperation, I googled "my cat is peeing in my air vents" (never thought I'd ever say or type that statement). It turns out Lola is not the only bitchy feline out there!

After reading a ton of forums I came across someone who mentioned Anti Icky Poo Poo. They talked about how they had owned 13 cats or something that makes me look WAY less like a crazy cat lady and how this product was the only thing that truly took care of the smell and stains. They even claimed it got rid of stains from past cats, we're talking years! I didn't believe it. But I was desperate so I ordered it off of Amazon.

Needless to say, this stuff works. Like a charm! It's incredible. It removed ALL of the smells from everywhere Lola had peed.  They even have a carpet injector, which is a crazy needle concoction that you stick into your carpet through to the padding underneath to eliminate the smell from underneath the rug. (Brilliant seeing as this is where the smells stay)

So Anti Icky Poo Poo officially saved the day, and continues to save the day. Maybe I can write them a testimonial and send in a photo of Lola and suggest her as their new mascot?

Kitty Catch-Up - Smelly and Mo Get a New Housemate

Smelly and Mo have been very busy since we last posted. Lola has been running stairs to lose all that weight (she hasn't been back to the vet but I think she is looking slimmer and more acceptable for photos).

Here's some other stuff you've missed...

They moved down by the river (don't worry I moved with them)...

They watched the snow fall out the bedroom window...

Their boyfriend moved in (okay lets get real, my boyfriend moved in)  but what's mine is theirs so he's lucky enough to have moved in with three ladies instead of one!

Lola took a nap with mom...

Penny tried to fit in a pan...

Lola took a nap with mom...

Penny took a nap against some clothes...

They changed foods. Mainly because our past food got recalled for Salmonella: Diamond Cat Food Recall -- YIKES!
They now eat Nature's Recipe. Side note: I'm a firm believer in feeding your pets healthy food!

Penny tried to fit in a lunch box...

Last, but certainly not least, the biggest change Smelly and Mo have gone through is they got a new housemate! No I didn't go extra crazy cat lady. Derek has a cat named Misty  and just like Penny and Lola are my baggage, Misty is Derek's baggage.

The long and short of it, Smelly and Mo hate their new roommate. After trying to introduce the cats I thought "I should have blogged about this" and it was such a failure that I have to start over, so this time I'm documenting this madness.

The last time included, hissing, growling, chasing, fighting, blood, pee and a lot of kitty anger. We're hoping this time goes better. Stay tuned for the adventures of Smelly, Mo and Mitters, it's going to be hairy, to say the least.

Just so you know what to expect, after round 1 Misty got the nickname "Scar Face"

Penny and Lola won't let any feline in their space without a fight, time to throw down.

"Wow That's a Biiiiiig Girl"

It seemed like the perfect time to blog again seeing as the last time I blogged is when Lola had to go to the vet and recently we had yet another exciting vet experience. However, this time it was for a routine check up.

After waiting in the lobby of the vet for an hour and a half while Penny and Lola rotted away in a kennel too small for both of them and a mean oversized Jack Russell named Mercedes snarled at my poor cats, we finally got called into the docs office. Penny being the social (or as I call her, whore of a kitty) that she is, immediately exited the kennel and was rubbing up on the veterinary assistant the counters the floors the computer, everything. Lola was a bit more skeptical. So I dragged Lola out of her kennel and put her on the counter where the veterinary assistant proceeded to pick her up and say "wow that's a biiiiiiiggg girl." Luckily Lola does not need to understand English because I was offended enough for the both of us. How dare she call my precious cat fat! Then she had the nerve to take Lola in the back, weigh her and come tell me she has gained a pound! You might be saying big woop a pound, but in kitty weight that is a lot! That'd be like a 115 pound person gaining 10 pounds. The worst part was I immediately knew exactly what the problem was, me. I had gone and turned my cat into a heffer. (Can I just add that according to Urban Dictionary heffer means "a really fat bitch." This is so true, Lola already was a bitch and now she's fat!

To make matters worse, the vet then took Penny back to get weighed (who she was already favoring for her whorish behavior) and came back to tell me that she'd lost weight! So now Lola is a bitch, a heffer, and food hog. I'd like to say for the first time, I feel like I've failed as a parent, but lets get real, I believe I failed when I let Penny get knocked up, or let the cats eat a Victoria Secret bra, spill water all over my roommates MAC laptop or maybe even when I started a blog about my cats. Either way, it's diet time folks.

**I will not be posting pictures of the heffer until she is back down to her normal weight.

Mo Survives

After a lot of vomit, some dry coughing and a lot of pathetic looks I finally took Lola to the vet last Thursday. I had been avoiding the vet for strictly Jewish reasons (it's okay I'm Jewish so I can say things like that), but finally gave in and went to Pyramid Animal Hospital.

It took some feeling around and a thermometer in the butt to come to the assumption that Lola had some inflammation in her intestines. So we went on some pills and switched over to sensitive stomach food and voila, Mo has officially survived her week long vomit session. But don't fret it hasn't been that simple. There was day one where Penny refused to eat the new food. Here I was asking myself, am I really going to have to feed these cats two different foods everyday, they're becoming more and more like real kids! Then there was day 3 where Lola decided to eat a hair tie. You'd think with an inflamed intestinal system and a weeks worth of throwing up she'd avoid things like this but of course not, luckily I came home to my hair tie in a pile of barf. You may be saying why is that lucky? I'm just glad it came back out of her!

So with that said, Mo is back in full kitty force, Penny has given into the new food and everyone is semi back to normal. For your enjoyment here's a picture of the cats when I brought out the kitty cage, Penny wanted to come with.

And here is a picture of Lola from the last time she went to the vet and they had to put a thermometer in her butt, it's safe to say she wasn't any more thrilled about it this time.

P.S. I'd highly recommend Pyramid Animal Hospital, they were great, didn't run any tests that they didn't have to and fixed Lola right up, we'll definitely be going back there if we need a vet again.

The Dilemmas of Being a Mom

I can only assume that sometimes having a pet is like having a child. Most real parents would probably laugh at that statement but at my ripe age of 25, Smelly and Mo are the closest things to kids that I have and that I want. With that said, lately Lola has proven to be more like a child than ever.

With an uneasy stomach, a drooling mouth and a pathetic look, Lola has been sweeping the apartment with piles of vomit since Thursday. In true cat mom form I didn't worry at first because all animals throw up a little every once in a while, however, it is now Tuesday and Lola has thrown up about 15 times since Thursday, so I've gone from calm cat mom to crazy paranoid cat mom. I'm not going to sit here and tell you vomit details, but in an attempt to try and relate this blog to some regular things that are happening in my life and things not necessarily ALWAYS related to Penny and Lola I just found it interesting the things I've learned from this vomiting experience.

The first is that even though I didn't birth her (because that would be creepy), Lola definitely feels like my child. I find myself worrying about her, feeling helpless because I don't know how she's feeling, doing things like feeding her chicken broth, rushing to Petsmart at 8:45 before it closes at 9 to get her hair ball formula, shoving the hair ball formula down her throat because the whole "rub it on their paw" thing is a joke, following her around to lay down paper towels when she throws up and calling everyone I know to get advice on what to do. I'm like a new mother with a sick baby. But what can we do? Neither of the cats have ever been this sick before, so it appears that a vet visit is in the near future, but in the meantime I'm reflecting on this experience with a few life affirmations.

One: I am not ready for real children, I don't enjoy my things being thrown up on but I guess I should be thankful it wasn't on me.

Two: Animals really are family members

Three: Google might have the answer to everything but it will also scare the crap out of you before it solves anything.

As I sit in bed and as Lola sits in the sink, I deal with the dilemmas of being a mom. To vet or not to vet? Our children should be priceless but is it worth a $200 vet bill for them to tell me she has hair balls? Like real parenthood (I assume) we have to make these decisions for our kids and hope its the best one, I just hope in the end I've raised good cats.

I can at least thank Lola for her most recent actions which have brought me back to the blogging world.

Smelly and Mo Have a New Home

Now don't get your panties in a twist, I did not get rid of Smelly and Mo. We all know I could never give up the devils, no matter how many things they destroy.

You may be wondering what happened to them? You may not care, either way, we moved into a new place and Smelly and Mo are finally feeling settled enough to start sharing their stories with the world again.

Life in the new place has been pretty calm. Aside from the occasional mishap, like when Penny thought she could catch a pigeon through the window and I woke up to her dangling by her legs from my bedroom blinds. Or when I woke up to the sound of something being eaten in my room, unsure of what it might be I jump out of bed, turn on the light only to find that Lola has managed to find and inhale my favorite pair of underwear (well at least half of them). Then there's times like this, where the kids insist on being in the bathroom with me when I shower. This particular morning Penny decided she was bored and then she ran away from the picture and left Mo to look like the bad kitty (notice the toilet paper roll)

Either way, Penny and Lola are doing well. They have a deck they love to spend time on, a new couch they are scratching and plenty of cords to chew on. They plan to be back in full evil force by winter.

Cat's Who Love Water

I thought Smelly and Mo were weird for liking water, and by liking I mean not minding when its splashed on them or standing at the end of the bathtub as I shower. But this is just crazy! Look at that cat go... maybe I'll try this out on Smelly and Mo.

Kitty Taking a Bath

Smelly and Mo Get 4 Brothers and Sisters

I know what you're thinking "Crazy Cat Lady went and got 4 more cats!!" No not quite! Jen and Maria came home with some fishies and the cats are in fish heaven.

They like to spend the day staring at the fish tank with such force that they are convinced the fish are going to come out and jump right into their mouth. Below is mo having a stare off.

True to form, one of the cats ate through the tube that provided bubbles for their new friends, but i wouldn't expect any less from Smelly and Mo, nothing new makes it through the house without some chewing and ruining.

So if you're wondering what Smelly and Mo have been doing they've been staring, trying to learn how to fish, and hanging out with their new brothers and sisters.