"Wow That's a Biiiiiig Girl"

It seemed like the perfect time to blog again seeing as the last time I blogged is when Lola had to go to the vet and recently we had yet another exciting vet experience. However, this time it was for a routine check up.

After waiting in the lobby of the vet for an hour and a half while Penny and Lola rotted away in a kennel too small for both of them and a mean oversized Jack Russell named Mercedes snarled at my poor cats, we finally got called into the docs office. Penny being the social (or as I call her, whore of a kitty) that she is, immediately exited the kennel and was rubbing up on the veterinary assistant the counters the floors the computer, everything. Lola was a bit more skeptical. So I dragged Lola out of her kennel and put her on the counter where the veterinary assistant proceeded to pick her up and say "wow that's a biiiiiiiggg girl." Luckily Lola does not need to understand English because I was offended enough for the both of us. How dare she call my precious cat fat! Then she had the nerve to take Lola in the back, weigh her and come tell me she has gained a pound! You might be saying big woop a pound, but in kitty weight that is a lot! That'd be like a 115 pound person gaining 10 pounds. The worst part was I immediately knew exactly what the problem was, me. I had gone and turned my cat into a heffer. (Can I just add that according to Urban Dictionary heffer means "a really fat bitch." This is so true, Lola already was a bitch and now she's fat!

To make matters worse, the vet then took Penny back to get weighed (who she was already favoring for her whorish behavior) and came back to tell me that she'd lost weight! So now Lola is a bitch, a heffer, and food hog. I'd like to say for the first time, I feel like I've failed as a parent, but lets get real, I believe I failed when I let Penny get knocked up, or let the cats eat a Victoria Secret bra, spill water all over my roommates MAC laptop or maybe even when I started a blog about my cats. Either way, it's diet time folks.

**I will not be posting pictures of the heffer until she is back down to her normal weight.

Smelly and Mo Have a Visitor

Every cat meows, well most cats. There are cats like Lola who meow ALL day long. I'm not kidding she doesn't shut up for anything. I don't even know why she's crying half of the time, I believe it's because she's not getting attention but what kind of cat likes attention every second of every day. Only Lola.

Then there's cats like Penny who try to meow but her voice box isn't so hot so she sounds like a senior kitty, possibly on her death bed.

And lastly there are cats like the orange kitty that has taken a liking to my backyard. His cry is distinct and haunts Penny, Lola and myself. I'm pretty sure it haunts my roommates as well. I'm not sure where he lives, he has no collar on and he hasn't been fixed. (Maybe that's why he lingers around the house because he knows there's two saucy female felines in the house.) As tempted as I am to feed him, I haven't because I don't want him coming back more than he already does. Plus he looks pretty well filled out so I don't think he's been abandoned, I just think he's a wanderer.

So everyday I hear that cry, it comes at weird times, like 3 in the morning. It wakes up everyone (by everyone I mean Penny, Lola and myself of course) and gets Penny and Lola all riled up. They start hissing, growling, trying to jump through the window to get to the lonely boy outside.

I'm glad Penny and Lola have an admirer, and lets be honest, it's probably just Penny, Lola isn't necessarily a head turner. I just hope that orange kitty learns to control the hours he chooses to come for a visit but for now Penny is on the constant look out!

Smelly and Mo Go to Tahoe

It's always an adventure when I decide to pack up the kids and head to grandma and grandpas house. I've learned from several occasions in kitty early years that the cats are better if left roaming the car than trapped in a cat cage. This way they can go where they want, watch the road, and not feel confined.

So the trip started out as it always does, smelling like poop. I'm assuming nerves is what makes each of the cats poop within 2 minutes that the car starts moving. At least they do it in the kitty litter box. I thought this trip was going to be a disaster because I was in my mom's jeep wrangler and it was so windy outside I couldn't hear a siren if it was going off next to me. The cats did surprisingly well, Lola didn't drool like usual and Penny just kinda looked at me every once in a while like "where the hell are you taking us lady."

One of my favorite parts of the ride was when Lola decided to stand up with her paws on the dashboard and I see her head going back and forth back and forth back and forth, only to realize she's mesmerized by the windshield wipers! I tried my best to get a picture of her... you can see her on the right there. She's also being a backseat driver.



Once in Tahoe the cats had a fabulous time as always. The first thing they did was sprint downstairs, I think they instantly remember there is a way for them to be outside at my parents house. Penny was the first to the doggy door (she was probably hoping her babies' daddy would be out there). However she only made it half way out the doggy door before she was stopped by several inches of snow. It was pretty funny watching Penny and Lola walk around the pen, through the snow just to be outside. They would do the whole take a step, pull the paw out, give it a shake, take the next paw out, give it a shake and so on. It looked like they were dancing.

At one point over the weekend I couldn't find Penny and I thought she'd maybe found a way to escape and get cozy with big black kitty but then she appeared! In my closet!



I thought the best part of this was how the hell she got up there. BUT turns out the best part was when she got stuck up there and couldn't find her way back down. Sometimes Penny is not the smartest cat of the litter. She paced back and forth trying to run down the hangers until she finally looked so helpless that I just helped her down. She definitely had the "well shit mom what do I do now look."

It only took a few hours for Lola to follow in Penny's footsteps. They're both up there!



I am convinced that Smelly is the leader and mo is the follower. Penny is much more daring than Lola but I think Lola is smarter for letting Penny check out the situation then she dives in once she knows its safe.

So other than some good sleeping and snow pawing the cats didn't cause too much trouble. There was no broken property and at one point my dad said "so do the cats still chew on weird things like wires, do I need to worry about my computer?" and I was like "well yeah they do but you're fine its just for a day that we're here." Next thing I know my mom is pointing and smiling and there's Lola gnawing on the leaves of one of my dad's fake plants.

Well Lola, thanks for proving me wrong, once again!

Smelly Hides From the Landlord

Things have been rather mellow around here the last few days. Maybe the cats are still tired from the mouse hunt, which is over, no thanks to Smelly and Mo. But I mean lets be honest, they're trained terror kitties and snugglers, not trained mouse hunters.

So today Smelly embarked on an experimental journey where she was stuck in my car for 5 hours. I know it sounds like animal abuse but it wasn't. The windows were cracked and she had food, water and even a kitty litter box. She spent the afternoon sunbathing on the seat. While Smelly came to work, Mo stayed home and played "good kitty" with the landlord as she did her annual "walkthrough." I had to take Penny in the car because Lola gets a case of the drools when she's in the car, it's rather sad. But Smelly did great, she hung out, no complaints just a "meow" whenever I went to check on her. Now everyone is back home and ready to go to bed. I hope all this calmness isn't a sign of them growing up and taming down their evil ways. That'd be no fun.

In the meantime here's a little video of Smelly and Mo's first time ever in my car...

FLASHBACK: Smelly Gets Knocked Up

So whenever the cats take a break from destroying things, which trust me won't happen very often, I'm going to feature FLASHBACKS! These will be adventures from kitty past worth mentioning...

Tonight's FLASHBACK: Smelly Gets Knocked Up

There she is, Smelly, shining in all her beautiful kitten glory. What male kitty wouldn't want to be with her? Well apparently Smelly was too beautiful to resist for one specific male kitty in Lake Tahoe. I had been studying abroad and my parents were watching Smelly and Mo for me. They have an outdoor pen so the kids love going to grandma and grandpas house and getting to be outside.

So I get home from Spain and Smelly is nowhere to be found. After many tears and my mom freaking out thinking that she has lost my cat, turns out Smelly had just found her way out of the cage and was sneaking around with mr. black kitty in the backyard. I watched her one day. She sat on her rock, looking out into the infinite abyss, or really just into the woods and there he came right up to the cage. I'm sure the kitty meows exchanged were something along the lines of "hey pretty lady wanna head into the woods," Smelly (only 9 months old at the time) was probably like "sure you large handsome feline." The rest is history!

Next thing I know Penny is acting weird and having some bodily changes I won't express here. A little google search left me pretty positive that Smelly had done the dirty and she had some buns in the oven!

From here it was just a waiting game. No one was really sure when she got pregnant and it was kinda cool and gross when you could feel the babies moving around in her tummy. I had read that you are supposed to set up "nesting" areas around the house where the cat feels safe and so that's where she'll have her babies. Four "nesting" areas later, Smelly decided to have her babies in the hallway closet on top my towels and blankets. (Thanks Penny)

If you're wondering how you know when your cat is in labor, trust me YOU KNOW. I've never heard such sounds come out of an animal, kind of like when humans have kids! I'll spare you the details of Smelly's delivery but I will say she was a stud of a mom. She didn't try to kill any of her kids and her pregnancy was quick and fairly painless... well for me, looked like it hurt like hell for her.

So out popped... Kanye, Miloh, and Chunk!

They were adorable! It was hard not to keep them all for myself. I was more than thankful that Smelly only had 3 kittens, pretty rare really. She was a great mom. I would try and move the kittens into one of the "nesting" areas but Smelly was never having it, she'd come right over pick them up and take them back to where they were before.

Chunk was given to my brother and he has grown into a beautiful handsome lion...

This doesn't really express his size... seriously he is a lion...

How the hell Penny produced this guy I'll never know. But the point is, not only is Smelly the pretty one but her beautifulness led to her sluttiness. Moral of the story is... Keep large male Felines away from underage kitties.

P.S. Penny must know I was talking smack about her sexual ways because she just came up and sat right on top of the computer... Go ahead Penny this is your world anyway

P.S.S. Miloh and Kanye were both given to close friends and Miloh has been renamed Lua and Kanye has been renamed Kenya. From my understanding they are both doing fabulous