Anti Icky Poo Poo Saves the Day

I've officially found the best pet cleaning product known to man, and it has the best name... Anti Icky Poo Poo. I kid you not.

You may be wondering why I needed to go on a search for the best pet cleaning product to begin with, or you may not care, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Upon introducing Misty to Penny and Lola, things seemed... okay. Granted there were scars and lots of fighting we figured they would work it out.

I slowly started to smell cat urine around the house. Anyone who has ever owned a cat knows it's the most miserable smell on the planet. Long story short, miss Lola had been spraying everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. Places that you wouldn't even think a cat could spray... walls, carpet, window sills, sinks, and by far the worst the air vents!

I have to give Lola minor credit for the air vents because I think she knew that if she pissed in one, it would be smelt throughout... clever little bitch I like to call my Lola.

So upon realizing my cat was slowly ruining my parents new condo I went on a hunt for anything to clean up this smell. Let me tell you what didn't work so you don't waste your time:

- vinegar (it just smelt like urine and vinegar)
- mouthwash (smelt like minty urine)
- vinegar mixed with hydrogen peroxide (just didn't work)
- every product featured at PetSmart (sorry PetSmart, even though I think some PetSmarts have Anti Icky Poo Poo)
- Borax
- Baking soda
- Ultra Intense carpet cleaner
- steam cleaner

So naturally, out of desperation, I googled "my cat is peeing in my air vents" (never thought I'd ever say or type that statement). It turns out Lola is not the only bitchy feline out there!

After reading a ton of forums I came across someone who mentioned Anti Icky Poo Poo. They talked about how they had owned 13 cats or something that makes me look WAY less like a crazy cat lady and how this product was the only thing that truly took care of the smell and stains. They even claimed it got rid of stains from past cats, we're talking years! I didn't believe it. But I was desperate so I ordered it off of Amazon.

Needless to say, this stuff works. Like a charm! It's incredible. It removed ALL of the smells from everywhere Lola had peed.  They even have a carpet injector, which is a crazy needle concoction that you stick into your carpet through to the padding underneath to eliminate the smell from underneath the rug. (Brilliant seeing as this is where the smells stay)

So Anti Icky Poo Poo officially saved the day, and continues to save the day. Maybe I can write them a testimonial and send in a photo of Lola and suggest her as their new mascot?

Kitty Catch-Up - Smelly and Mo Get a New Housemate

Smelly and Mo have been very busy since we last posted. Lola has been running stairs to lose all that weight (she hasn't been back to the vet but I think she is looking slimmer and more acceptable for photos).

Here's some other stuff you've missed...

They moved down by the river (don't worry I moved with them)...

They watched the snow fall out the bedroom window...

Their boyfriend moved in (okay lets get real, my boyfriend moved in)  but what's mine is theirs so he's lucky enough to have moved in with three ladies instead of one!

Lola took a nap with mom...

Penny tried to fit in a pan...

Lola took a nap with mom...

Penny took a nap against some clothes...

They changed foods. Mainly because our past food got recalled for Salmonella: Diamond Cat Food Recall -- YIKES!
They now eat Nature's Recipe. Side note: I'm a firm believer in feeding your pets healthy food!

Penny tried to fit in a lunch box...

Last, but certainly not least, the biggest change Smelly and Mo have gone through is they got a new housemate! No I didn't go extra crazy cat lady. Derek has a cat named Misty  and just like Penny and Lola are my baggage, Misty is Derek's baggage.

The long and short of it, Smelly and Mo hate their new roommate. After trying to introduce the cats I thought "I should have blogged about this" and it was such a failure that I have to start over, so this time I'm documenting this madness.

The last time included, hissing, growling, chasing, fighting, blood, pee and a lot of kitty anger. We're hoping this time goes better. Stay tuned for the adventures of Smelly, Mo and Mitters, it's going to be hairy, to say the least.

Just so you know what to expect, after round 1 Misty got the nickname "Scar Face"

Penny and Lola won't let any feline in their space without a fight, time to throw down.

"Wow That's a Biiiiiig Girl"

It seemed like the perfect time to blog again seeing as the last time I blogged is when Lola had to go to the vet and recently we had yet another exciting vet experience. However, this time it was for a routine check up.

After waiting in the lobby of the vet for an hour and a half while Penny and Lola rotted away in a kennel too small for both of them and a mean oversized Jack Russell named Mercedes snarled at my poor cats, we finally got called into the docs office. Penny being the social (or as I call her, whore of a kitty) that she is, immediately exited the kennel and was rubbing up on the veterinary assistant the counters the floors the computer, everything. Lola was a bit more skeptical. So I dragged Lola out of her kennel and put her on the counter where the veterinary assistant proceeded to pick her up and say "wow that's a biiiiiiiggg girl." Luckily Lola does not need to understand English because I was offended enough for the both of us. How dare she call my precious cat fat! Then she had the nerve to take Lola in the back, weigh her and come tell me she has gained a pound! You might be saying big woop a pound, but in kitty weight that is a lot! That'd be like a 115 pound person gaining 10 pounds. The worst part was I immediately knew exactly what the problem was, me. I had gone and turned my cat into a heffer. (Can I just add that according to Urban Dictionary heffer means "a really fat bitch." This is so true, Lola already was a bitch and now she's fat!

To make matters worse, the vet then took Penny back to get weighed (who she was already favoring for her whorish behavior) and came back to tell me that she'd lost weight! So now Lola is a bitch, a heffer, and food hog. I'd like to say for the first time, I feel like I've failed as a parent, but lets get real, I believe I failed when I let Penny get knocked up, or let the cats eat a Victoria Secret bra, spill water all over my roommates MAC laptop or maybe even when I started a blog about my cats. Either way, it's diet time folks.

**I will not be posting pictures of the heffer until she is back down to her normal weight.

The Dilemmas of Being a Mom

I can only assume that sometimes having a pet is like having a child. Most real parents would probably laugh at that statement but at my ripe age of 25, Smelly and Mo are the closest things to kids that I have and that I want. With that said, lately Lola has proven to be more like a child than ever.

With an uneasy stomach, a drooling mouth and a pathetic look, Lola has been sweeping the apartment with piles of vomit since Thursday. In true cat mom form I didn't worry at first because all animals throw up a little every once in a while, however, it is now Tuesday and Lola has thrown up about 15 times since Thursday, so I've gone from calm cat mom to crazy paranoid cat mom. I'm not going to sit here and tell you vomit details, but in an attempt to try and relate this blog to some regular things that are happening in my life and things not necessarily ALWAYS related to Penny and Lola I just found it interesting the things I've learned from this vomiting experience.

The first is that even though I didn't birth her (because that would be creepy), Lola definitely feels like my child. I find myself worrying about her, feeling helpless because I don't know how she's feeling, doing things like feeding her chicken broth, rushing to Petsmart at 8:45 before it closes at 9 to get her hair ball formula, shoving the hair ball formula down her throat because the whole "rub it on their paw" thing is a joke, following her around to lay down paper towels when she throws up and calling everyone I know to get advice on what to do. I'm like a new mother with a sick baby. But what can we do? Neither of the cats have ever been this sick before, so it appears that a vet visit is in the near future, but in the meantime I'm reflecting on this experience with a few life affirmations.

One: I am not ready for real children, I don't enjoy my things being thrown up on but I guess I should be thankful it wasn't on me.

Two: Animals really are family members

Three: Google might have the answer to everything but it will also scare the crap out of you before it solves anything.

As I sit in bed and as Lola sits in the sink, I deal with the dilemmas of being a mom. To vet or not to vet? Our children should be priceless but is it worth a $200 vet bill for them to tell me she has hair balls? Like real parenthood (I assume) we have to make these decisions for our kids and hope its the best one, I just hope in the end I've raised good cats.

I can at least thank Lola for her most recent actions which have brought me back to the blogging world.

Smelly and Mo Get 4 Brothers and Sisters

I know what you're thinking "Crazy Cat Lady went and got 4 more cats!!" No not quite! Jen and Maria came home with some fishies and the cats are in fish heaven.

They like to spend the day staring at the fish tank with such force that they are convinced the fish are going to come out and jump right into their mouth. Below is mo having a stare off.

True to form, one of the cats ate through the tube that provided bubbles for their new friends, but i wouldn't expect any less from Smelly and Mo, nothing new makes it through the house without some chewing and ruining.

So if you're wondering what Smelly and Mo have been doing they've been staring, trying to learn how to fish, and hanging out with their new brothers and sisters.

Smelly and Mo Go to Tahoe

It's always an adventure when I decide to pack up the kids and head to grandma and grandpas house. I've learned from several occasions in kitty early years that the cats are better if left roaming the car than trapped in a cat cage. This way they can go where they want, watch the road, and not feel confined.

So the trip started out as it always does, smelling like poop. I'm assuming nerves is what makes each of the cats poop within 2 minutes that the car starts moving. At least they do it in the kitty litter box. I thought this trip was going to be a disaster because I was in my mom's jeep wrangler and it was so windy outside I couldn't hear a siren if it was going off next to me. The cats did surprisingly well, Lola didn't drool like usual and Penny just kinda looked at me every once in a while like "where the hell are you taking us lady."

One of my favorite parts of the ride was when Lola decided to stand up with her paws on the dashboard and I see her head going back and forth back and forth back and forth, only to realize she's mesmerized by the windshield wipers! I tried my best to get a picture of her... you can see her on the right there. She's also being a backseat driver.



Once in Tahoe the cats had a fabulous time as always. The first thing they did was sprint downstairs, I think they instantly remember there is a way for them to be outside at my parents house. Penny was the first to the doggy door (she was probably hoping her babies' daddy would be out there). However she only made it half way out the doggy door before she was stopped by several inches of snow. It was pretty funny watching Penny and Lola walk around the pen, through the snow just to be outside. They would do the whole take a step, pull the paw out, give it a shake, take the next paw out, give it a shake and so on. It looked like they were dancing.

At one point over the weekend I couldn't find Penny and I thought she'd maybe found a way to escape and get cozy with big black kitty but then she appeared! In my closet!



I thought the best part of this was how the hell she got up there. BUT turns out the best part was when she got stuck up there and couldn't find her way back down. Sometimes Penny is not the smartest cat of the litter. She paced back and forth trying to run down the hangers until she finally looked so helpless that I just helped her down. She definitely had the "well shit mom what do I do now look."

It only took a few hours for Lola to follow in Penny's footsteps. They're both up there!



I am convinced that Smelly is the leader and mo is the follower. Penny is much more daring than Lola but I think Lola is smarter for letting Penny check out the situation then she dives in once she knows its safe.

So other than some good sleeping and snow pawing the cats didn't cause too much trouble. There was no broken property and at one point my dad said "so do the cats still chew on weird things like wires, do I need to worry about my computer?" and I was like "well yeah they do but you're fine its just for a day that we're here." Next thing I know my mom is pointing and smiling and there's Lola gnawing on the leaves of one of my dad's fake plants.

Well Lola, thanks for proving me wrong, once again!

Things Destroyed to Date

The only way to start this posting is to catch you up on all the things the cats have ruined. Now lets just be honest, I can't remember EVERYTHING. But here's a list of what I can remember!

Blow up mattress - while wreaking havoc in my parents studio apartment in San Francisco while I lived it up studying abroad in Spain, they popped their "bed" with their nails

Numerous Couches - they love their scratch pads but they also love all furniture.

Electrical Wires - that's right, they love to chew on wires. They've eaten everything from phone chargers, alarm clock wires, computer wires, TV wires and headphones to Christmas tree lights (That was pretty funny)

Bathing Suits - yes you read correctly. They have eaten the strings off of several of mine and my roommates bathing suits.

Bra Straps - this is a bad one. They have one Victoria Secret bra under their belt.

A gift wrapping ribbon - eaten in it's entirety by Lola I thought it for sure was going to kill her.

A computer- they love to knock over water. This time they took it too far by knocking an entire glass of water on my roommates MAC laptop... EEEEKKK.

Socks - they love to eat socks. You know you've become a victim when you feel a small breeze coming through.

Scratch Pad - That's right, they've even destroyed their own toys. They've decided scratching is not enough, they must eat the cardboard now!

Plants - Leaves are just too much for them to handle. They've eaten it all from wheat grass to lilies to basil. They don't discriminate.

Water damage - they've spilt water on everything possible. If there's a glass of water in their vision, you can guarantee it will be knocked over.

Wine Glasses - they apparently don't stop at water they just don't like anything that's standing!

So are you convinced yet they're more like dogs or should I say "puppies" than cats. There's plenty more things they have destroyed but for now we'll start there and see what kind of shenanigans they get into from here!

It all began September 2006

You're about to embark on a humorous adventure into the lives of my cats. They're not your ordinary cats and this blog is not written from their perspective like most "cat blogs" because most of the time I don't know what the hell they're thinking. So here they are...

This is Penny Lane.

As a kitten of course! I call her the nice one. From the moment she showed up at my door (I knew she was coming) she was the beautiful kitty. My roommate Erin and I had picked out her name before we had even seen her and she was perfect for the classy "Penny Lane" taken from one of the greatest movies Almost Famous.

This is Lola.

Need I say when she was a kitten? You may be thinking she looks a little mean. Or you may be thinking she looks exactly like Penny Lane. Both are true. Well Lola showed up with Penny, unexpected. My roommates mom was supposed to take her and then her dad said No way! So we were like sure we'll take two cute little kittens. We didn't have a name for Lola right off the bat, we wanted to see what she was like. After we realized she was a little, pardon my french, b*tch. We decided she was forever going to do what she wants when she wants so we named her "Lola" after the song Whatever Lola wants...Lola gets!

This is ME!

This blog is in honor of Miss Penny Lane and Lola. I consider them my children because not only are they the only form of "children" I have but they act like children everyday. They roam the house as if it were their own, they eat everything they can find, they chase everything they can, they ruin everything they can and they make my life a living hell but I still love them more than anything and talk about them all day long.

So here I will discuss all the things they do, all the things they destroy and the adventures I go through with them. To say the least it will be entertaining and you'll realize, like I have, that they're more like dogs than cats and they definitely keep me on my toes!

P.S. They are now three years old!